November 1, 2009

• Quitting
  

  Most folks who know something about me wouldn't call me a quitter. My wife would, but she wouldn't mean it in the way we may think of it. She would say she'd never met anyone in her life who could quit something as quickly, and to her, as easily as I have and do. She tried for years to quit smoking. It was impossible for her to quit and stay quit. Until she did it. She won't smoke again. I know because I know how to quit things like that. It's all a mind game. You have to know how your mind works and then use it to your advantage. She learned that, at least in the area of smoking. The way she sees me isn't the way I see me, but then I'm not her, or you for that matter. I'm not really me either. How I know that is because the me that I know has changed so many times it's hard to keep track. Pretty much, I've quit xanga. The other day I deactivated my facebook account. It was time. What I needed to get from facebook I got. I connected up with a couple of people I knew over thirty years ago. Drove to Arizona to spend a few days with one of them and reconnect with a very important part of my past that I'd quit. The truth appears to be I wasn't ready then but perhaps I am now. If not I'll quit again. Mark Twain said, It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times. That may not be exact but it's the idea that really matters if the idea is what you wish to convey. Not being a bean counter I don't get caught up in the semantics so much. I want the distilled essence of what the man meant. It's the bottom line that matters most to me. Not in the same way as once it did but still, it's the bottom line I want. Today I'm not willing to push someone aside to get it. That's not the way it's always been. I quit that.

  The thing is I don't really quit. I stop. There's a difference. Stopping is different from quitting because when you stop you can start again. When you quit you're saying you're not going to do that again. It doesn't work for most people because the mind receives it as a challenge and we don't have that kind of control over our minds. It will win nine out of ten times. Maybe even ninety-nine out of a hundred times. If you stop it's softer and the mind doesn't feel as pushed around, challenged and so it doesn't react by flexing it's considerable muscle. We imagine we can control our minds but that's only because we've never really observed ourselves doing it. It's like seeing a video of yourself dancing or hearing a recording of yourself singing for the first time. It can be quite a shock to see that what we do isn't what we think we do. Why am I writing this? I don't know. I'm going to quit now. Or should I say stop?
  

  • 10:50 pm
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