April 15, 2011
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Travel
Travel
People hear I'm going on yet another trip and they get all,
ooouu, aaahhhhh, it must really be great to travel all over the world the way you do.
Just for the record, for the umpteenth time, No! It's not! Not for me anyway. I keep wanting to say,
If you like to travel so much why don't you go?
That wouldn't be any use because fantasy doesn't have any bad travel stuff in it. There are no TSA officers who've had way too many bad days in a row. There are no delayed or canceled flights, no twelve hour layovers in the lovely Dusseldorf airport in the middle of the night when everything is closed but it doesn't matter because you only have two Euros and no place to exchange your nearly worthless Yankee dollars for some gone-too-soon-is-that-all-I-get Euros. Oh, did I fail to mention there was a guy with a jack hammer tearing up the floor all night while I tried to sleep on a line of six chairs with my arms entangled in my luggage so it would still be there when I awakened from my sorely needed beauty rest? Yeah, travel, by all means. See the world. I live in a very beautiful part of Southern California. I've been to a lot of places and trust me when I say with Dorothy, There's no place like home. There's no place like home.
So, where is it this time? Seoul, South Korea. I kid you not, I got a phone call the other day from a guy, and when he heard where I was going this time he said,
Wow! That's really great. I've always wanted to go to Seoul. It's one of my top ten gotta go to destinations.
What's wrong with me? I've never had even the slightest desire to travel to Seoul. Is that because of watching M.A.S.H. all those years? Is it because when I was a child the Korean War was raging? Is it because I don't want to eat kimchi, that three thousand year old traditional Korean fermented taste sensation? No, it hasn't been lying around for three thousand years. People have been eating it that long. In a perfect fantasy I'd be like this James Bond character traveling around, staying in the finest luxury hotels, winning millions in fancy casinos, driving really expensive sports cars with world class beauties vying for my attention and eating in the most upscale restaurants that would make your average person blush to see the prices they charge for two shrimp, three carrots, a sprig of parsley and some colored sauce they squirt artistically on the plate. The only part of the James Bond fantasy I get is the bit where people want to kill me. Oh! you say, how exciting. Again, fantasy is great because there's nothing to oppose you in a fantasy, and even if there is, it's there because you can overcome it and come out all the more fantastic. Nothing at all like real life. Is it any wonder we spend so much time in fantasy and day dreams?
Twenty days may not seem like a long time to be away from home, but when you're my age you don't know how many twenty days you may have left. The truth is, at any age, you don't know how many twenty minutes you may have left. The fantasy is that you can pretend you're going to live forever. Death is something that happens to other people. No, I'm not afraid of dying in a plane crash or any other way for that matter. Life is a lot more unpredictable than death and a whole lot less certain. When four a.m. rolls around Tuesday morning and you're snuggled in your warm bed, dream about how wonderful it is to drag your bags to the airport, go through the always long and tedious security check because you have an artificial leg that always sets off all the alarms and brings a rush of TSA officers to have you assume the position while they wand you, pat you, question you, swipe your clothes and bags with little white patches they then stick in a special machine that tells them if you've got anything on you or your bags that could be found in b*mb fixings. Right. I can't even type the word let alone say it. Travel. I'm not even going to tell you what happens when I get there. Why? I don't even know until it happens
Comments (36)
We have been pretty busy over here with travel and it is exhausting. EXHAUSTING! Well J, do what you do. However you do it. Hope the airports are kind.
@queenie - Thanks, Cassi. Only four airports to go through to get there. I get the tour of California before leaving S.F. for Seoul. I'm so excited. This too shall pass . . .
best part of travel is returning home where everything is where you left it (kind of)... enjoy Seoul... and the kimchi!
@jerjonji - True enough. I'll do my best, thank you.
Oh THERE you are. Sneaky bugger, slipping away into the night...
Hope your travels are less exhausting and annoying than you've prepared for them to be, and that you see enough lovely things/people while you're there that it makes up, at least in part, for the pain of getting there.
@notagoose - Yeah, it's all about staying one step ahead of the sickos, which I'm not very good at. Thanks for your kind wishes. I'm sure it will all work out beautifully in spite of my whinging.
Great post! Hello from an old Xanga reader. I do pop in now and then.
~thoughts through my looking-glass~
Karolyn
TSA? Isn't that the test high school kids take to get into college? Or was that SAT?
My solution to the many vexations of travel is to not do it. Well, I took a couple of trips in 1996 to watch my son graduate from college, but nothing since. And my doctors agree that I shouldn't travel.
I also shouldn't read, at least until June 15. I had cataract surgery on my left eye. When that heals, they'll attack the right eye. Each surgery has to heal for six weeks. By mid-June I should be allowed to get glasses and see again. And me using an iPod Touch as my primary communnications device? I feel isolated.
So glad to see you again James. Now you just smile so they will wonder what you are up too.
Safe travel see you whenever.
@BLB - Hi, it's been a while. We're still alive! I always smile. It eases their pain.
@knightingale - Glad to see you're still around. Thanks for dropping by for a visit.
@WordJames - I can't even imagine you not reading. I'm sure the surgery will put you back on top of the reading game. How would it look if they called it TIA? Transportation Insecurity Administration. That would just be so un-government. Where would we funnel those billions of dollars? Too many problems for that.
Heh. I was reminded of a former co-worker. Every Spring he would natter on about the journey. One time he was going to Egypt. And I just looked at him like he was nuts.
He said, "Don't you have any desire to travel, to experience other cultures?"
And I said, "No." Simple as that.
Lots of interesting cultures within a 60 minute drive. In many cases, half that.
But more importantly.......what happened to hightailing it up into the back of beyond to meditate for a month? Or did that get old?
Good to read you.
WF
@WordFaery - everything gets old. The trick is to make it new. Now I need to make travel new. OK, done. It's now new again. Have I told you how much I'm going to love Seoul? Woo Hoo!
I laughed 'till my ribs hurt. You pretty much nailed it ,but in my book it would read TSA ( Terrorist Society of Amerika). I have been physically dented and bruised from baton sweeps at lightening speed delivered by said TSA when I tried to show her my knee brace. I hate to travel just because of them. Too many personal incidents. IF there were that many terrorists, they be securing the borders and checking those semi truck loads of ??? and inspect them all. and the's forget the politically correct routines. All my destinations these days are not the mysterious Korea ... but to see my children.. and 22 days away from my true comfort zone is .. well, you know! I do concur!
@DancingBrush - Yes, they can get cranky. Most anyone would dealing with so many passengers coming at them in waves. Not all of us smiling. On the other side Uncle Sam would be looking for a scapegoat in the unlikely event that something did happen, God forbid, though I can't see why He would.
Through all the terribleness and trials of your trip, I hope you enjoy yourself enough while you are there, to be able to endure the trip home. Damn, I sound like a greeting card!
@spinner_mom - Is that Hallmark ringing your doorbell now? Oh, never mind. Thanks for the good wishes. I assure you I'll be fine. I just like to complain. I hate that about me. LOL!
Add me to the list of those glad to 'see' you and also wishing I could travel a bit. However, the travels I'd enjoy don't have so much PIA/TSA involved...more like travel used to be/...show up, get on the plane, zoom zoom, get off at your destination. Guess that shows how long it's been since I flew.
James!
I like to travel... here, in the US, via automobile, thanks ever so much. There are a few places I'd like to go some day, but... not a huge fan of flying or the nonsense that goes along with it, for that matter, and honestly cannot afford to fly abroad anyway.
Guess, I'll just be driving along.
Good to see you again, sir. It's been a while.
I know what you mean. Folks hear I'm ( hopefully) going to Egypt in October, and the first thing out of their mouth is either a warning or a wish to go themselves. I've waited my entire life to go to Egypt.I've dreamed it, studied it, watched nearly everything I could on TV about it. It's now #2 on my bucket list ( I've already done #1) and as time gets closer, I'm finally letting myself come to the conclusion that I might just make it there...
Hope you have a fabulous time wherever you are going, my friend.
*HUGS*~ Zaena
@Zaena - Definitely do a camel safari while you're there if you get the chance. It was a highlight of the trip for me.
@James - Thanks, James! We definitely think alike! LOL...that's exactly what I'm going to do. I've ridden horses all my life, and have friends with Arabian horses, so that's "old hat". I told the friend I was going with that she'd have to watch me ride a camel at some point, and she laughed and agreed.
@Zaena - There you go. Just don't bash anybody crusader style.
@James -
It took a while but I did find your reply to my comment. The cataract surgery for my left eye went well but they decided to wait to do my right eye. Still waiting. Can't get a new prescription for glasses until a month after the surgery. Reading glasses don't really hack it. Next week I plan to try to get them to reschedule the right eye. I'll still be pretty blind for a while after. By the way, the DMV did renew my driver's license.
@WordJames - Happy to hear the first surgery went well. Not being able to read could be a problem.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I need to add two whiny children to the mix who are NEVER ready on time! Sorry it is miserable for you but thanks for pointing out the leg thing. I have two plates and several screws in my left ankle from breaking my leg there years ago. They make little noises sometimes in airports. I just show them the lengthy scars. Sigh. I need to make up a good story. Something about Navy Seals would be good about now.
@winniezpoo - Good stories aren't all they're cracked up to be. I've got a great story. In the end it's just another story that slows us down the way too much stuff in our backpack slows us down on a hike. Good analogy, James! Life is a hike.
I think the whiny children might be an interesting diversion. Maybe I could get the TSA guys to pay more attention to them and less attention to me. I can't believe I ever wanted attention. I rue the day I ever desired it. Now I just want to slip under the radar unnoticed by the wicked old world.
LOL, I gotcha! Emily is old enough and pretty enough in an exotic sort of way to get PLENTY of attention...but she is enjoying it at this time. By this time she is on her 10th crush, but this one is different. He thinks she is as hot as Megan Fox and I thank GOD he is bright, friendly and articulate and in the engineering specialty program in high school going into 10th grade. Both feet ON the ground and a goal in life. Makes it much better than the losers I seem to see on TV in teen programs. Of course, she still LOVES Justin Bieber!
I think you need an eye patch. Hide a dime under it for additional mystery......
@winniezpoo - Yeah, an eye patch. I've got the parrot already. Very convincing.
I shudder to think what it must be like to have a daughter interested in boys. I don't know who Megan Fox is and I wish I didn't know who Justin Bieber was. He's not really a boy is he? I am so glad I never had kids. What a terrible thing that would have been to do to little human beings.
OK, so with the parrot, the eye patch, a naval piercing, earrings and a gold front tooth you would just blend in with the Lady Gaga crowd and no one at TSA would even BOTHER with ya! Just don't pierce a nipple or a lower body part, or do a tattoo "down there" as it could be the highlight of their day. Show and tell, you know!
@winniezpoo - No chance. I get enough unwanted attention as it is. I want some of that vanishing cream that Jerry the mouse used to use to hide from Tom the cat in the cartoons.
Ring up Harry Potter, old chap! The Invisibility Cloak is just the ticket! I have heard that the best is yet to come...kisses....and a time machine....
@winniezpoo - Yeah, I've heard that. I don't believe it. My momma used to say, "Believe none of what you hear and only half of what you see." Good advice.
My mamma used to tell me never to marry anyone "dumber" than myself. If I am still looking, what does that mean? LOL I much prefer the gifted population. After the fireworks are over, they have something to say. Works every time!
@winniezpoo - It tells me you didn't listen to your Mamma very well. How smart can that be? There's only one thing worse than looking. Finding.
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