August 19, 2011

• OTE Virus

  Virus

  This is a repost that I dug up from something I wrote in July, 2004. It's just as true today as it was then. Perhaps a little more necessary as the world continues its descent into the negative social mood that is sucking like a black hole. May God have mercy on our souls as the defaecation continues to make contact with the planetary atmospheric oscillator.

  Is it me or has xangadu gone a little off lately? It's as if people who have been on the edge for some time have finally crossed over. There's no talking to them about it because they now are Napoleon, Catherine the Great, Cleopatra, King George or whomever. It's probably been this way all along and I'm just beginning to see it because it's finally reached my tiny xangaworld. I don't mean the normal temporary insanity of which we all seem to have bouts. This seems like a prolonged mass hysteria spreads like a virus. Is there some connection? People who read and comment on other people's sites who have made it over the edge (OTE) now feel free to make their long awaited leap into the abyss?For those of you interested in being inoculated against the OTE virus here are seven simple rules you may wish to follow:

  1. Don't feed the monkeys. I know it's tempting. They're so cute, evil, ugly, needy, hungry or whatever excuse we conjure to give us permission to feed them because they deserve it.
  2. Turn the other cheek. Yes, it's difficult but it's not an outer, physical action. It's an internal attuitude. You do it psychologically. If you don't turn the other cheek you're feeding the monkeys (see rule number 1).
  3. Don't advertise for the monkeys. A banana by any other name is still monkey food. Linking to monkey sites or talking about monkey comments is advertising for the monkeys (see rule number 1).
  4. Never try to train a monkey. Or as Robert Heinlein put it, Never try to teach a pig to sing because it wastes your time and annoys the pig. Now it's true it  is your time and you may waste it if you wish. Remember annoyed pigs and monkeys can be dangerous (See rule number 1).
  5. Don't give arms to the monkeys. No, not even if you get bananas by the bushel for free and have the best banana cannon known to man. It gives the monkeys something to throw back at you (See rule number 1).
  6. There are more monkeys than there are people. Feeding monkeys eventually turns you into one (See rule number 1).
  7. If you don't know what to do in the event of a monkey attack, you guessed it. See rule number one.

  This has been a public service announcement. Of course you're free to do as you damned well please.  It's no concern of mine because my dog ain't in that fight. Now run along and play nice.
  

   

  • 4:10 pm
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