August 6, 2007

• Diminishing
  

  Over the past few years I've been tracking an interesting attitude I've been sensing in our society. If it's happening or not I don't know, but as I look over my life I think there is ample evidence of the veracity of the phenomenon. When I lived in Guatemala it became clear to me the culture there had an entirely different attitude toward the elderly. As I've not collected any scientific data concerning this concept this whole point of view is subjective. Of course, this doesn't mean it's not so. It only means I can't prove it in court. You be the judge. There weren't a lot of old age homes in Guatemala. Actually, I never really saw many in any of the countries of Latin America I visited. Parents and grandparents lived with their children. At first I thought it was because they were too poor to have a choice. Something I've come to think is an American point of view, but not exclusively. I'm confident there are other finance based cultures share the concept. They all had to live together. But the more I got involved with families in a personal way the more I began to see a bond of love and respect which has become rare in our country. One somewhat crude way to define what I'm talking about is, if we can't screw then you're not much value to me. It's not just an age based prejudice but it seems to be related more to physical appeal.

  As I've matured my tastes have changed. There's a sexual taboo about older people being in relationships with people many years younger. Think about dirty old men for a minute and you'll get the idea. Of course, now we've got a rash of female high school and junior high school teachers having sexual trysts with their students. It's a little more okay for an older woman to have sex with a younger male. Women don't seem to appear as predatory in the collective unconscious of America. How many people think twice about talking to little boys and little girls in stores these days because of the perception that adults are sexually preying on children? I'm not arguing for or against what people feel they need to do to protect their children in our society. I'm speaking of the differences I've noted over the years. More people appear to be more uptight than once they did. Of course I'm speaking in general as it's pretty silly to try to be specific about a population as large as that of the United States of America. Advertisers target age groups. We've got Dennis Hopper pitching my generation about investments and retirement. Cadillac plays music of the sixties in one of their car ads aimed at the Baby Boomers.
  It's no secret cereal and game makers pitch the younger crowd. It's a multi-billion dollar market and we're all about the money.

  Turning sixty recently found me noticing how much I'd diminished in the eyes of the majority of Americans. I'm an old guy for sure now. And yes, I feel marginalized. It's okay for a guy in his fifties to have a midlife crisis and run off with some chick half his age but it's not okay for the blue pill people. Though if you believe the drug companies it appears men are encouraged to start thinking about male performance sometime just after twenty or so. My whole idea about male performance and making love has been transformed. eHarmony.com makes me laugh out loud. But not quite as much as the idea that someone would be willing to pay ten dollars for a Viagra tablet. All my life I've enjoyed a good relationship with the elderly. My paternal grandfather was a great friend and hero from my earliest recollection. I loved spending time with him, listening to stories and marinating in his loving wisdom. Perhaps I'm a treasure hunter at heart. But my interest isn't in gold but rather the wisdom and gentleness that can come with maturity if one does it properly. Come to think about it I'm probably about the age my grandfather was when I fell in love with him. I love him still. I learned more good from him than I ever did from his son and remain grateful to this day. The elderly rock!
  

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